Dating dry spell
I’ve been pretty good about resisting Facebook, email and texts, but also surprised at how hard it has been.
I thought the silence I’d been craving would come without resistance. Because my resistance has been so strong, I know that this quiet time is doubly important.
Regardless of how long it is and to what extent of physical contact you choose, once you realize you may have hit a dry spell, you’ll begin to experience certain emotions. They resemble the stages of grief, which makes sense because life without consistent sexy time is a sad, sad life. Maybe you are watching a "Gossip Girl" rerun and Serena is doing it with one of her many suitors. %*This is my favorite stage to observe when my friends are sexually frustrated, and my least favorite to experience when I am the one going through a sexual drought. So I would really appreciate it if you could help me out. You begin to think your lack of a sex life has to do with you.
Perhaps you are eating pizza and the blissful feeling of biting into a perfect slice made you question if pizza is better than sex. This is the moment you do something a little ballsy, but it’s worth a shot: You beg and pray for sex. It’s me, *insert name here.* Listen, I have been in a bit of a rut lately. I’m going to a holiday party this weekend, and I am hoping that I wake up the next day with a secure spot on Santa’s naughty list. Anyway, if you could set me up with somebody, I promise I would pay it forward. What if you smell funny and you don’t even know it? The thought of this is just flat out -- you guessed it -- depressing.
Notice I didn’t say what you want in a Making a list of the qualities you want in a specific person can limit you from opening up to potential partners.
For example, if you have "successful" on your list of attributes and you meet someone who might be living comfortably but not as successfully as you’d hoped, you might not give that person the chance you would have if you had focused more on how you want your ideal partnership to feel. On the contrary, getting clear on how you want your relationship to feel will not allow you to settle for less than that.
You might even be in church, which is a weird time to think about sex, but don’t you dare deny that having impure thoughts during church hasn’t happened at least once. The sexual frustration mixed with the sadness makes for a lethal combination of chocolate and crying binges.
Whatever it is, you try to think back to the last time you did the deed. Said depression also leads you to indulge in desperation. You’re going to find somebody who wants to get naked with you eventually.
After all, there’s something to be said for endless “me time” to do whatever your heart desires. Sex releases a hit of dopamine in our body (as well as other hormones), leaving us with an effect similar to what happens when people do cocaine, so we can act a bit like addicts sometimes. It’s going to be extra amazing when you get laid again.
You see, when we feel resistance toward certain feelings, it’s usually a good indication that there’s some emotion or insight we unconsciously want to avoid.
For me on this trip, those emotions are loneliness and unworthiness, two human universals.
But let me first start by saying that a dating dry spell can be a great gift.
We can use the silence to explore what’s going on inside of us.